For more than 35 years, Meander’s Dr Annetta Mallon has worked as a grief and trauma recovery psychotherapist, specialising in complex and historical trauma. She has supported clients through “death of pets, death of people as well as life transitions”. Then, almost three years ago, her own mother died.
“I thought, this is really interesting, and I’m probably not going to remember the first year because the first year of grief is really fresh and raw, and it plays hold with your memory and with perceptions of time,” she says.
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Each week for that first year, she uploaded a short video to social media, documenting what she was experiencing and discovering. The project became more complicated when her brother and her dog died within five months of her mother.
“It’s three significant deaths in five months and the year following my mother’s death,” she says.
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Reflecting on her own responses, Mallon found herself at odds at times with what she felt society expected of her. “The two weren’t always in alignment, which is interesting and fun,” she says. “And I got to laugh at myself because often it’s all the stuff I tell my clients not to do. And here I am doing all that stuff because I’m human!”
Shortly, Mallon will present a one-woman show that distils a year of personal loss into an hour of storytelling, humour and insight. The performance will have its premiere at Adelaide Fringe before returning home to Deloraine for a local audience.
“It’s a one-woman show that runs for about an hour,” she says. “The show is almost three years in the making.”
The show traces that uneven year through a series of jackets and tops that mark time passing. “It’s funny and it’s insightful and hopefully it will help people think while they’re laughing,” she says. “So I’m very proud of it, and I think my mother would’ve liked it.”
Humour is central to the show. “It takes nuance and a real gallows sense of humour. My sense of humour isn’t for everyone, but it’s certainly robust.”
“I’m turning 60 this year. If I don’t do it now, when am I going to do it?” she says.
After Adelaide, Mallon will stage the show at the Deloraine Little Theatre on Saturday 14 March, with tea and coffee and a question-and-answer session to follow. “If anybody wants to hang around and ask me questions, they’re free to do that. If nobody wants to ask anything, we all go home early!”
Away from the stage, Mallon works primarily online and from Deloraine House, and runs a free monthly grief group. Her advice for those in the thick of loss is practical and compassionate.
“Hydrate. You really need to drink more water than you would believe possible,” she says. “Grief is incredibly dehydrating because it is relentless stress that affects the sleeping brain as well as when we’re awake.”
She urges people to rest, to “give yourself a lot of grace and be gentle with yourself,” and to be mindful of anniversaries. “All the firsts are hard,” she says. “There’s no timeline to that.”
Nearly five and a half years after moving from the New South Wales Central Coast to Tasmania, Mallon says she has never felt more at home. “I’m happier than I have ever been in my whole life,” she says. “And I’m really glad we moved here.”
