The German comedian Henning Wehn once told an anecdote about how when he went to live in England he tried to slot into the British social class. It involved piddled pants, fish and chip shops and being drunk, and it was hilarious. The English audience, against whom the tale was told, laughed themselves silly and fell off their seats at the hearing of it. The joke was about finding your tribe, not being an outcast, fitting in with the norm.  I have the same problem with the great tribe known as Collingwood. Despite cluttering my house with Magpie memorabilia, I...